Mommy of Two

It's been nearly a year since I became a mommy to not just one, but two little girls. With Hailey's birthday coming up I've been getting sappy and reflecting on her and this first year of her little life, and I've also been thinking a lot about the transition to two. When I first had Savannah, I remember that it felt at first as if my whole world had totally tipped on its axis. I thought I knew what to expect, but nothing could have prepared me for what it would be like to become a mommy. I was shocked and overwhelmed by it all: how fiercely I loved my sweet little baby, the overwhelming responsibility I felt for her, how the routine that Matt and I had as young newlyweds was totally thrown and now all about this tiny little person, how "me" time was a thing of the past, and how everything was changed (for the better, I might add!).

That first time around it took a little while to come out of that postpartum, newborn fog and get used to the new normal. I was overjoyed to be a mom from the get-go, but it was a big adjustment. In time, though, Savannah got on a schedule, slept through the night, and outgrew the reflux that made her so fussy. I got the hang of getting out of the house with a baby and a diaper bag in tow. Eventually she weaned and we didn't have to worry about breastfeeding dictating our schedule, and even later she potty trained and the diaper bag became a thing of the past. It was getting pretty easy to get us both dressed and ready, throw on some shoes, and head out the door.

Right around the time it started getting "easy," literally only a few months after Savannah stopped waking for a 4 a.m. bottle and only weeks after ditching the diaper bag, we decided it would be nice to give Savannah a sibling. I can still remember the morning of August 30, 2012. I just knew I was pregnant. I had been craving Italian salad dressing with cucumber slices like crazy, and that had only happened one other time in my life, when I was pregnant with my first. I begged Matt to let me take a test, even though we had said we would wait until the weekend. He agreed and I took the test, and when I picked it up, we saw two pink lines form. My hand was shaking so bad! In that moment, we were excited and so happy, but we knew we were in for a big change!

As time approached for Hailey to join our family, in a way I knew what to expect. I knew that my whole world would once again be tipped on its axis for awhile, but I also knew that in time we would come out of the fog and find a new normal. And that is exactly what happened. Looking back on these past 11 months, it's been pretty crazy! The second time around, some things were easier. My postpartum recovery, establishing breastfeeding, and Hailey's newborn sleep pattern was all easy compared to the first time around. There was a lot that was harder this time, though. Savannah had a very rough reaction to our family expanding and my well-mannered, sweet-natured two-year-old went through a trying phase that lasted for months after her baby sister arrived. 

As far as getting out of the house in a timely and organized fashion with two kids by myself? Forget it! This has been a huge challenge for me. Maybe I'm just crazy, but it's literally only been within the past month that I feel confident about getting out of the house and getting somewhere on time first thing in the morning. And the only way that I achieve this is by planning in my head to leave ridiculously early. For example, if we need to be somewhere at 9 a.m. and it's a 15 minute drive, I tell myself to plan to leave around 8:20 and somehow it works out that I will pull up to our destination just a few minutes before nine. (This is because getting coats and shoes on both kids, plus myself, changing last minute diapers and making last minute potty trips, and buckling everyone in the car always takes a ridiculously long amount of time, much longer than I always anticipate.) Also, am I the only mom that absolutely hates lugging babies around in those giant bucket car seats? When I bought my giant Snugride 35 while pregnant with Savannah I should've thought of the fact that I am a very slight person who A) probably would have small babies who don't need such a giant seat (which I did, two times) and B) probably would have a heck of a hard time lugging around such an enormous seat all on my own. Anyway, the entire time that Hailey was in that bucket seat I would avoid going out if at all possible so I wouldn't nearly break my arm off carrying that thing around. I now have her in a convertible Britax and I can just whisk her little 18-pound self on my hip and it makes getting out much, much easier!!!

Another major change that this past year brought was that the noise level in our small house went way, way up. I didn't think just one more tiny baby could cause this to happen, but she certainly has. Also, with one baby it was still fairly easy to do things like shower every day and give the house a good, thorough cleaning every week. With two kids.......ha! Showering is a serious luxury that requires careful planning, and the state of my house......sigh. I am the type of person who used to get seriously twitchy if my home wasn't deep cleaned each week, and even though I still get twitchy about it, I've had to learn to let it go, because it just isn't happening.

This year has been one full of changes, and also full of so, so much joy. It feels good to be standing here on the other side, almost a year after the transition to two kids, and to be able to look at Matt and say by God's grace, we did it! Life is starting to regain some semblance of balance and peace, and we're finding our stride as a family of four. Both girls are sleeping through the night and sharing a nice afternoon nap time with each other, which is awesome. Savannah got through the initial tough adjustment and now loves her sister and is back to her easygoing, sweet-natured self. And I'm even managing to get us out of the house on a regular basis and learning to take our noisier, messier home in stride. As we get ready to celebrate Hailey's first birthday next month, it's not only a party for her, but a survival party for us all! It hasn't been easy all the time, but we did it, and we're so thankful for our family of four.